Sunday, 10 May 2009

Day 4

Weekend blues and family dinners. Spend a day in the Cape travelling between parents. Instead of taking it easy to enjoy an awesome day in one of the most beautiful places in the world, we felt rushed and agitated. How easy it is to miss out on life. You run around trying to please everyone. You fall back into old patterns. You quickly become someone you’re not. Or are? Or were? I’m not sure, but man, I hate that guy.
Life beckons.
Love calls.
But something suffocates the goodness out of me and I end up grumpy and irritated.
I have been here before. I have felt like this more than once. I know how to get out of this itching skin.
I choose.
It takes a heap full of energy, a whole lot of soul and bag full of character. But in the end I pull through.
So in my search for God, maybe God is in that conscious decision to change my attitude. When I fight back the shadow and let the Light in; when I take a long shower, a deep breath and a cold glass of water; when I force that smile until it comes from a place of honesty and when I start loving through the irritation, God shows up, or showed up. I’m not sure...

1 comment:

Krulle said...

sounds a lot like me......today.....