Friday, 17 July 2009

Day 73

At the start of this doubt and faith journey, I had the feeling that my soul is heading towards winter.

Well, I am smack bang right in the middle of it and it is freaking freezing out here.

I am getting the feeling that the winter of the soul is unavoidable. Anyone who decides to embark on a spiritual journey will have to deal with the cold of winter, the darkness of night and with the dreadfulness of the desert some time or the other.

It’s inevitable.

It happened to the Ancient Hebrews in search of something better than the slavery of Egypt.

It happened to almost every great prophet who battle with the truth of God and the lies of religion.

It happened to Jesus, right at the start of his Kingdom Story.

The winter and the desert prepare us for the big paradox in being followers of Christ, because to be a Christian is to be depressed yet hopeful, scared yet fearless, alone yet in love, fragile yet powerful.

Or in the words of Alanis Morissette:

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working
I care but I'm worthless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty
And what it all boils down to is that no one's really got it figured out just yet

Isn’t it ironic (scuse the pun), that in the first recorded sermon of Jesus he picked up on the same theme?

“Happy are the heartbroken...Happy are the poor...”

He preached these words straight after his journey in the desert, his soul was probably still recovering from frostbite...

1 comment:

Sparky said...

Glad to see you back... I'm also cold, very cold, but hopeful as well.

We are so use to only see the Godly element in Christ..., forgetting that he was also fully human.

The 40 days in the dessert must have been really hard for Him and it had to have an effect on His famous sermon amongst the hills of Judea and Jerusalem. The next time I read the section, I will try harder to see the man. The man who was himself heartbroken and lonely.